V. Ramamurthy
# 2, 59 and 190 Mahadana Street, Thiruvidaimarudur
As a child we all have been drilled to adhere to the simple rule “Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam”, although no one told us what this order means. Although all of us respect, revere and recognize our mothers’ contributions in our lives, we keep this to ourselves and rarely put them in words. This is also true of TDR times where articles about TDR mothers/women have been less frequent. Taking a non-traditional approach, herein I reminisce about three TDR Mathas (mothers) who played a key role in my early life. These are my mother (amma), Muthumani’s mother (Muthumani amma; MA) and Sri. Sivasamba Iyer’s wife (Sivasamba Iyerathu mami; SIM). I am sure each reader could relate the episodes mentioned here to his/her own experience in life, although the names would change.
I start with my mother. I describe three incidences that attest how much self-less mothers could be. (a) At the end of each year there used to be a party with sweet, karam and coffee for teachers of TAHS. My father will bring the sweet home to share with us. My mother will forego her share on behalf of her children. The same is true of favorite dishes made at home. (b) I vividly remember the times when my mother used to carry small nell mootai to Naidu rice mill and bring back the rice and thavadu herself. This avoided paying extra for the cart provided by the Mill. The same story about fire-woods bought at viragu kadai. All these she did to save a few anas that could be used to buy extra jaggery and cardamom to make payasam for us on pooja days (my father’s allotted amount would lead only to a 75%-sweet payasam; his income was limited and he did not believe in borrowing money). (c) After completing M. Sc. at IIT, although I wanted to go abroad for further studies, my father was not convinced that it is the right thing to do. Finally, it was my mother who convinced my father that going abroad for higher studies might be good for me. I don’t believe she understood what I studied at IIT and what I am going to be studying in USA, but her decision was purely based on the selfless thought that I should be happy and do well in life.
Many of the readers might know that Muthumani’s house (#185) and my house (#2) were opposite to each other. Most of the time when I was not in my home I used to be at Muthumani’s. At times Muthumani would be at my home talking to my father while I was at his home listening to radio or reading Tamil magazines. Muthumani amma and appa allowed me to hang around the house at any time of the day. When Muthumani went to Akalangannu for summer vacations or went to wedding of his relatives at Kodimanglam and other villages I accompanied. I distinctly remember the trip to Thirupathi in a pre-arranged Raman & Raman bus for Muthumani’s poonal with all his family members and relatives. Thanks to Muthumani amma and appa I had the first darshan of Venkateswara and also visited several places like Thiruvannamalai, probably at the age of 12. These trips were memorable and could not have happened if not for Muthumani amma (and appa) accepting me as an unofficial family member.
My association with Sri. Sivasmaba Iyer’s family started with Murthy (the current TOSA President). When Murthy was growing up in TDR, I used to occasionally visit his house to check what boys at the other end of the street are doing. I remember Sivasamba Iyerathu mami (SIM) giving me snacks and coffee whenever I visited Murthy. On hindsight, I believe the mami’s coffee and snacks might have prompted me to visit Murthy more than he wished. My occasional visits to read Hindu newspaper to Sri. Sivasmaba Iyer’s home and the accompanying coffee/snack offer continued even after Murthy left TDR. A few of the following incidents should convince the readers how much our TDR mothers went out of their way to make the life of TDR boys easier: (a) When I was studying at KMU College I had to go to St. Joseph’s College, Trichy to participate in a competition. Although College selected me to compete it did nothing in terms of travel, boarding and lodging. As soon as SIM heard this, she told me that I could stay at her daughter’s home (Mrs. Rukhmini, Murthy’s mother). I remember Sri. Sivasmaba Iyer giving me a letter that made my stay at Trichy and participation at the competition possible. (b) When I was studying at IIT-Madras realizing that on a Deepavali day I would be alone at the hostel, SIM asked Mrs. Santha (daughter) to invite me to her home. I remember visiting her home, getting up early in the morning and going through the usual Deepavali routine. (c) When I was about to leave for USA, SIM invited me for a grand lunch and I was privileged to eat with Sri. Sivasmaba Iyer and Mali in a huge plantain leaf. Blessings by Sri and Srimathi Sivasmaba Iyer gave me confidence that I would do well in USA.
The love showered, and the comfort and the guidance provided by my mother and the two other TDR mothers mentioned above made my early life in our village memorable. What was unique at that time was that TDR children did not feel isolated and did not feel that they lacked some thing in life. Thanks to the selfless mothers, we children were connected and felt as though we belonged to a single large TDR family.
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